Thursday, November 13, 2014

One Monkey Don't Stop My Show

Quote:   Just ‘cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town. – George Carlin

Perspective:  Obvious statement >>  This quote is not about animals or the circus!!!

Once you set a goal, what do you do to get over the bumps?  

One secret I used: don’t “get over” the bumps -- instead “get through” the bumps! Meet the circus head-on.  

I’ve lost 41 lbs over the past 11 months.  I love ice cream and cake and pie and anything sweet.  How did I stop myself?!??!!  I didn’t!!  I still had ice cream, cake, and other desserts but I didn’t have as much as I normally did in the past. I would normally eat 5-6 pints of ice cream a week.  In the past,  I would have multiple desserts DAILY.  When I started my regiment, I had ONE dessert on ONE day per week.

That is good starting mindset, but how do I push it further?  Do I avoid the the part of town where the circus is located?  Do I jump in with both feet, buy a ticket and ignore the negative parts of the event?  

The circus isn’t leaving. Those obstacle(s) will always be there. The desserts. The horrendous job. The credit cards.  The debt.  The stress.  The cigarettes. The pessimistic mindset.   All are there 7 days a week, 365 days a year.  

Initially when I tried to achieve my health goal, I controlled my desserts intake.  That worked for 6-8 weeks. Afterward, I had to change my mindset.  I didn't look at food or dessert as the enemy.  

I voraciously researched food.  I found wonderful recipes for desserts and other meals.  I found food coops in my area.  I started to shop at the grocery store with my increased knowledge. I browsed websites for healthy recipes.  Also I started doing an exercise regimen.  At first I exercised twice a week. Then I pushed to 6 days a week.  Now my healthy habits and exercise are a habit.  This healthy mindset is now normal for me.  It’s a habit I enjoy.

Now that I’ve finished this blog, I’m going to have a cookie!!

Call to Action:  What animal is your metaphor?  How are you exactly like that animal?  How are you unlike that animal?  How can you gain more power from this animal?  How can you address the animal's liabilities?  

Coming up#smallchangesarehuge -- group coaching Wednesdays (biweekly) at 8 PM ET

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Influence vs Suggestion

Quote:   We become that which has influenced us the most.  – Wilfred Peterson

Perspective:  I got a little arrogant when I read this quote.  I proudly hailed I am my own person – no reality TV show nor a soap opera nor a political party no social media influence me!  HA!!

Whenever I get that bombastic, I look for humility.  When I couldn’t find any humility, I looked up influence in the dictionary.  One definition is: 

The action or process of producing effects on the actions, behavior, opinions, etc., of another or others. 

 What has influenced me has changed over my adulthood.  Media, college, friends, family when I was in my 20s.  My husband (now my ex-husband), colleagues, family, friends, job, my manager in my 30s.  It took until I was 40+ to realize God (HP, the guy upstairs, etc) influences everything I do.  God is my foundation for everything.  My belief in God balances me, helps me show love to others, and has increased my faith.  

In coaching, we ask, “What is your ‘come from’ place”?  Is your ‘come from’ place:  jealousy, greed, procrastination, or fear?  Is your ‘come from’ place:  faith, love, being grateful, happiness, or generosity?  

Those “positive” characteristics are tough for me.  I’m a pessimist.  I’m used to looking on the dark side BEFORE the bright side.  Is it possible I could turn my thinking around 360 degrees?  What if it WAS possible?  What if it IS possible?  It is … I can … it does.  

Now my influence is strong and motivating and progressing me forward.  Thank you HP!!

Call to Action:  What is the craziest thing you’ve ever done?  Get a full back tattoo?  Skydive from 5,000 feet?  Tell your partner you love them?  What was your thinking process before, during, immediately afterward?  Relive those moments before, during, and immediately afterward.  Now how do you feel?  What’s the next “crazy” thing you’re going to do???!?!?!    

Next Vlog and Google Hangout:  click the link below (or copy/paste in to your browser) for the invite to the next Vlog on Monday September 22 at 830 PM ET:  Spirit with a Bite Sept 22 Vlog 

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Please Yourself First -- Monthly Spirit VLOG

Quote:   I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. – Bill Cosby

Call to Action:  Sing out loud: I am woman – Helen Reddy,  Roar -- Katy Perry, This is a Man’s World – James Brown.  What other song can you think of to help remember the POWER you already have?  

notes:  Spirituality with a Bite is now a book:

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

The Undiscovered Country - REDUX

Quote:  Never limit yourself because of others' limited imagination; never limit others because of your own limited imagination. - Mae Jemison 

Waikiki Beach (Hawaii) at sunset
Perspective:  I have a fear of airplane travel.  I do travel.  I’ve been to 16 states in the US (including Hawaii; see pix above), Canada, and the Caribbean.  All via airplane.  My mother is even more fearful of flying than me.  She hasn’t traveled by plane since the 1970s.  When I travel, she prays for me – constantly.  Yes, I’m grateful.  Unfortunately, she panics until I call her when I de-plane. 

My grandmother’s phobia was more acute!!  She was born in the West Indies.  When she was a toddler, she witnessed a volcanic eruption.  Even though the family was able to flee to a nearby island, she never forgot the smell and the horror.  This scarred her.  She often spoke of air travel negatively and rarely traveled. 

When I was a teenager, I didn’t want to be ANYTHING like either one of them. 

My grandmother moved from the West Indies to NYC in the 1910s.  Newly married and pregnant, she was able to run a house, a farm, and few of my grandfather’s businesses.  Over the course of the next 55 years, she was able to raise 7 children and one grandchild in the suburbs of NYC.  No small feat!!!  I can imagine how my mother and her siblings (my aunts and uncles) may have given her challenges.  She was a lovely, quiet, dynamic woman.  She passed away in 1969.

My mother was the first girl in the family to graduate from high school AND attend a higher institution (secretary school).  My mother worked as a secretary in several jobs from the 1950s until she retired in the 1990s.  She raised two crazy children (my brother and I), kept 3 different homes afloat, volunteered in church, and nursed my father until he died in 2005.  My mother is 86 years old. 

I’ve changed my mind; I want to be JUST LIKE THEM!!! 

Call to Action:  You’re standing on a precipice of the Grand Canyon.  Take a deep deep breath.  What is possible now?  

(happy birthday grandma!!)   


Monday, May 5, 2014

Fly like An Eagle - Let My Spirit Carry Me - REDUX

Quote:  As long as you keep a person down, some part of you has to be down there to hold him down. So it means you cannot soar as you otherwise might. – Marian Anderson

Perspective:  I’ve had a few romantic relationships end bitterly.  It was easy to be acrimonious to ALL men, to blame him, to castigate him.  It was easy to live my life in his hands.  When I do that, I place responsibility AND control for my life with him.  Then (in my mind) he dictates what I eat, what films I watch, what work I do, how I connect with my friends, and how I treat myself!  Now my life was easy, right?  Do I really want that??!?! 

I don’t want anyone to be responsible for me (like a child/parent situation) or be in control of my life.  I want to control my own life.   

I realize control is impossible the moment it’s suggested.  I have power – not control.  I have power over my reactions to situations NOT the situation.  Now I ask myself – what part do I play in this situation?  What was my role in the relationship with him?  What is my role in my relationship with myself?  Now I can turn it over.  Then the solution becomes apparent.

Call to Action:   Write down 136 of your own attributes.  What are the top 10?  What are the last 10? 

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

A Tree Grows ... Wherever -- REDUX

Quote:  When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. – Maya Angelou  

Perspective:  When I first heard this quote over a decade ago, I thought about my romantic relationships.  Recently, I’ve been expanding it to include familial and casual relationships.  It can be telling why someone has a particular demeanor!  

I had an interesting "adventure" on a subway ride from Brooklyn to my home.  Travel time is normally 1 hour 10 minutes.  Unfortunately, there was a broken rail at the penultimate train station and all passengers had to disembark.  In NYC when you’re train is delayed, you can get a block pass (a piece of paper) from the token booth clerk to travel via an alternate route.  The passes and subsequent ride is free.  The token booth clerk refused to give us a block pass.  She said we didn’t need a pass.  A yelling match ensued with the token booth clerk and the 20 riders.  I was thinking, why is she being so rude?  What’s the big deal?  It’s 11 o’clock at night -- give us the freakin’ passes and let us go home!  

Finally a supervisor heard the commotion and came by.  The supervisor told the clerk to go on break immediately.  The supervisor volunteered to distribute the block passes to us.  As the clerk left the booth, I took a good look at her.  I recognized her!!!  We went to the same junior high school!!!  I remember her being a bully.  She was friends with a crowd of other bullies.  I was one grade ahead of her; she never bullied me.  But I always remembered her and her crowd.  You never forget a bully or that attitude.  

At any point I can change my demeanor, my character, my disposition.  I have to want to change then take the action to do it.  Otherwise, I am the unchanged from age 10 to age 17 to age 45 to age 70+. 

Call to Action:  Start singing/read OUT LOUD the lyrics to RESPECT by Aretha Franklin.  What is your definition now?